ParaNet BBS/Vanhorn

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ParaNet BBS/Vanhorn
File Name: Vanhorn.TXT
Author: Bill VanHorne
Date: June 10, 1992
Subject: Sighting
Posting BBS: ParaNet
BBS Main Page: ParaNet Main Page
(4870)  Wed 10 Jun 92  7:01p
By: William Vanhorne
To: All
Re: Ufo Sightings (long Reply)
St: Sent
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@UFGATE newsin 1.27
From: wvhorn@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (William VanHorne)
Date: 10 Jun 92 14:56:06 GMT
Organization: The Ohio State University
Message-ID: <1992Jun10.145606.1849@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Newsgroups: sci.skeptic



Ok, let's try posting this again !

> From : bb6d9cj@baarsa.bell-atl.com (Kretmar)
>
> I'm just interested in finding out how many readers of this
> newsgroup have actually seen a UFO(First person accounts!)

I'll 'fess-up. I have indeed seen a UFO. (Sorry about the length of this post, but you *did* ask !)

Chapter One ... The UFO is sighted

Location : Columbus, Ohio, northwest side Date : June ?, 1976 Time : 10:05 P.M. EDT Conditions : sky dark, no residual twilight, cloudless sky

I was standing in a gas station watching my car get filled (remember when they did it for you?) when I chanced to look into the sky to the east and saw an actual flying saucer. A crude ASCII picture of what I saw :

         red light  -------------> *
                                xxxxxxx
         red lights -----> * xxxxxxxxxxxxx *
                               xxxxxxxxx
rotating white light -------->  >>>>>>>

Note that the "x" parts (the body of the UFO) were much dimmer than the lights on its edges. The rotating white light on the bottom of the craft was very bright, and was spinning left-to-right. I watched the saucer hover over the north side of Columbus for ten minutes.

Of course, while I watched this thing hovering, I was frantically trying to find some "rational" explanation for what I was seeing. I enlisted the two gas station attendants (remember those?) and another customer in my observations. After ten minutes, and much debate, the general consensus was that we were watching something that was about the size of a two-story house whose mode of propulsion was unknown (but tied to the rapidly rotating bottom), and that it was not like anything any of us had ever seen fly before.


Chapter Two ... The UFO approaches !

By 10:15 PM the UFO had stopped hovering and not only flew towards us, but actually flew directly over our location. Another ASCII picture to show a close-up view of the saucer :

         red light on tail -------> *
                                    |
                                ---------
red lights on wings -> * ------------------------ *
                         \       xxxxxxx      /
                           \      xxxxx     /
                             \   /     \   /
                               ------------

Yep, it was a "wing-over" airplane (like a Piper Cub) carrying a "travelling marquee" banner strung from wing-tip to wing-tip. The "hovering" effect had been caused by the fact that the plane was travelling east-to-west (towards us) and was moving very slowly so that people on the ground could read the advertisement being displayed.

(apology: Actually, I don't know what to call that lighted banner other than "travelling marquee", but it consists of a row of lights which has messages "travel" across it (like on the side of the Goodyear blimp) so "travelling marquee" sounds good to me.)

Note that the "rotating bottom" effect was caused by the letters (advertising some car dealership as I recall) moving across the banner, and that we all percieved the rotation as left-to-right whereas the letters moved right-to- left. Note also that our collective imaginations had "filled-in" the space between the red running lights on the plane with the dim body of a UFO, since the airplane was too far away to actually see its body.


Chapter Three ... Musings on close encounters with alien life forms

So, it's a plane after all ! We all had a good laugh, and went about our lives. But, BUT, what would have happened if that plane had turned south before coming close enough to identify?

I would like to think that I would have filed the experience in the "strange -and-unexplained-but-hardly-paranormal" file, but you never know ! I would like to think that I would today still be reading sci.skeptic instead of alt.alien.visitors.are.using.the.Corolis.force.to.control.your.mind, but you never know !

And while we're at it, imagine that later some recidivistic non-holisitic reductionist like Scott Chase were to come along and try to convince me that what I had seen was an airplane carrying an advertising banner. Well, excuse me, but I have *never* seen, before or since, an airplane carrying a "travelling marquee" strung across its bottom. In fact, I can't imagine how one would take off or land the thing (aha! maybe that's why I've never seen one since!). Also, I *do* know what an airplane looks like at night, thank you very much, and what I originally saw looked *nothing* like an airplane.

So here are my rules for UFO sightings : - Human perception is tricky. You really *can't* believe your eyes. - Don't try to convince observers of UFOs that what they really saw was "ice from the space shuttle" or that "the camera moved, not the UFO", since even if you are correct, you will sound forced or stupid. - Don't bother with UFOs at all until one lands somewhere and stays long enough to convince *everyone* that it is really an alien craft.

End confession.

Skoal, Bill VanHorne

Who is neither a PHYSICIST or an ASTRONOMER or even a SCIENTIST but who IS
working on a new PARADIGM of holistic object-oriented Oneness with the
bioelectrologic forces underlying the Universal coexpressions OF existance.
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                      These are not my employers opinions
                         These are not even my opinions
                            These are REVEALED TRUTH
                         wvhorn@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu

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